You know those games that you wait months or sometimes years to play and with eager anticipation finally load into your respective console only to be ultimately let down? Sometimes you want to cry, sometime you want to return the game, or sometimes you want to seek out the developer and smack them in the face a few times (we’re looking at you CAPCOM…)
The following is a list of the top five games this past year or so that have either been far too over-hyped or have just been plain bad games. If it were up to me, Santa would give these games a big, fat, sooty lump of coal for Christmas.
1) Resident Evil 6
While not as tragic as many reviewers have made it seem, RE6 stacks heaps of flashy cut-scenes and over-the-top action moments into pretty much everything. If a character were to be shown taking a dump, it would probably be in slow-motion and have some dramatic, poorly dubbed english dialog along with it. While I admit I did enjoy playing this game, I couldn’t help but feel that Michael Bay somehow was attached to this project in an attempt to “Westernize” the franchise. RE6, how DARE you promise the stars and deliver poo!! For this, I hope you get a lump of coal for Christmas!
2) Duke Nukem Forever
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), it is no longer 1997 and the memes, look, and attitude that made Duke Nukem originally popular just no longer apply. Back then, he contained a cool, stylish, bad-assery that made everyone want to play as Duke. Now, he just comes across as the high school football captain that never left home. Please Mr. Nukem, you don’t have to over-compensate for anything, so quit taking your double dose of bro’dom every morning.
3) Assassin’s Creed 3
Jumping from building to building, scaling the heavenly heights of ancient architecture, and…oh wait…Where are all the buildings? All I see are trees and barns. Oh that’s not a barn, it’s a colonial era courthouse…Same thing I suppose! COAL!!!
4) Any Facebook Game…
‘Nuff Said!
5)Mass Effect 3
For a franchise built upon choice spanning several games, the ending of Mass Effect 3 felt very contrived with little in the way of causality reflected from the the choices previously made by the player. While the post release DLC attempted to flesh out the ending story a little, many players (including myself) felt robbed of our chance to effect change on a galactic scale. Mass Effect? More like Very Little Effect. Personally, I blame the Batarians…
Well there it is! With any luck, Santa has had these games on his “Naughty” list for quite some time and will dish out some gamer hate. Please remember that this article is based on opinion of games that I actually have played and enjoyed (for the most part). Feel free to comment on what games you think should have made this list or why any game in this list doesn’t deserve a big fat lump of coal!
The funny thing is ALL of these games, except the Facebook ones (which should be at the top of the list haha) are remakes and sequels. I have played none of them! I have, however, played all the games prior. Whats smoldered my interests?
Well, in my opinion, when the developers smell the big bucks they tend to forgo what really made their games unique. Instead they try to “Beef up” our favorite parts of the game (to the point of obscurity and repetition), and this tends to leave no room for innovation. The same innovation that made the originals so desirable in the first place.
Rant Over. Peace out,
That Guy
I can’t even finish ME3… it sickens me